It's hard, when all the black point that you counted about yourself that time, at the "depression", coming back up.
When that goes up, the pain goes out. And the bad thoughts.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
The first touch.
I really want it to work out this time.
I need to write. No matter when/where I am, my mind just can't keep rolling stories, conversations.
To whom... maybe I should have readers of my own...
It just can't keep thinking, no rest... always thinking, imagining, building ideas and conspiracies. Building fantasies. Wishful thinking. It hopes, dreams and sometimes get disappointed. It builds up life, and ruin them at the same breath.
It's a while now, that most of my thoughts are really positive.
About six months ago I had an encouraging conversation with a new good friend of mine, and after 10 minutes, maybe a little longer, I just was reborn... in todays' terms, you could say that I had an intensive coaching session, maybe even the beginning of an interesting friendship. A kind of that I would keep asking for advices and getting an almost hand in hand walk-through, and on the other hand, not being able to give back the same way, due to the character of the friend I had just acquired.
I have some set-backs here and there, though. Maybe it's because of my harmonically state I am in just before my cycle. Maybe due to the fact that there are days that I don't take my medication on the right time and/or forget.
Naturally, when I DO sit down to write, the inspiration is mostly gone. so I just mumble, or writing basics till it'll come back.
It's there, inside. And hopefully next time I'll be smart enough to write the draft on my iPod, so maybe the cure can finally start. Now that I have this Blog, of course.
Till than, me.
I need to write. No matter when/where I am, my mind just can't keep rolling stories, conversations.
To whom... maybe I should have readers of my own...
It just can't keep thinking, no rest... always thinking, imagining, building ideas and conspiracies. Building fantasies. Wishful thinking. It hopes, dreams and sometimes get disappointed. It builds up life, and ruin them at the same breath.
It's a while now, that most of my thoughts are really positive.
About six months ago I had an encouraging conversation with a new good friend of mine, and after 10 minutes, maybe a little longer, I just was reborn... in todays' terms, you could say that I had an intensive coaching session, maybe even the beginning of an interesting friendship. A kind of that I would keep asking for advices and getting an almost hand in hand walk-through, and on the other hand, not being able to give back the same way, due to the character of the friend I had just acquired.
I have some set-backs here and there, though. Maybe it's because of my harmonically state I am in just before my cycle. Maybe due to the fact that there are days that I don't take my medication on the right time and/or forget.
Naturally, when I DO sit down to write, the inspiration is mostly gone. so I just mumble, or writing basics till it'll come back.
It's there, inside. And hopefully next time I'll be smart enough to write the draft on my iPod, so maybe the cure can finally start. Now that I have this Blog, of course.
Till than, me.
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